we keep on going back and forth over what to do. is she spoiled? i keep reading that it's not possible to spoil a baby (read: hold it too much) its first few months. yet, alex will not go to bed at night (after her 10 pm feeding) unless she is held until she falls asleep.
usually she cries when she's hungry. i'd venture a guess that 90% of the time she cries, it's because she's hungry. the other 10% is because she's spit up and now her clothes are wet, or she needs a new diaper. but usually just because she's hungry. and we are so stupid we never learn. we keep saying things like, "she can't be hungry... she just ate an hour ago." then fifteen minutes later, she's sucking on anything that comes near her mouth and we say, "well... maybe she is hungry..." duh.
so, anyway... J and i agreed last night that the 10 pm holding thing has to stop. so we agree to put her down in her bed and let her cry a while. i tell J it could take like a half hour. he says no way. she is so tired, she will stop after like 10 min. well... 20 min later and he's telling me he can't take it any more, it hurts, he's going to get her. i say please give her another 10. he says absolutely not, and goes and gets her. starts talking about forcing her to "quit cold turkey." i stifle laughter and feign seriousness. he holds her another 15 min, and we figure out, you guessed it, she was hungry. *again*. it was like an hour later. duh again. *sigh*
this AM she's crying and won't go back to bed after the 5:30 feeding. J says she's spoiled, we are picking her up too fast, etc. the latter, i agree. i get her too fast in the night because a) i know she's waking up to eat, so why make her suffer? and b) i don't want her to wake HIM up. but i can't agree with spoiled. she's too little. she can't know yet.
so i told him i would wash all her crib stuff today so she could move in there. which is fine with me because then i'll be able to let her cry a bit more like i really want to do in the first place without worrying so much that she will keep him awake.
so, alex is going to be sleeping in her crib starting tonight. we'll see how long this lasts. i'm not even going to consider folding up the pack n play because her dad is such a pile of mush that she will probably whine tonight and he will go get her and put her in our bed if the pack n play is away.
anyway now i'm rambling so i guess i'll just go back to bed. incidentally, when she wouldn't sleep after the 5:30, it was because she was (still?) hungry. i think she falls asleep before she's done eating. i don't know how to fix that, though.
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6 comments:
Oh cq! I found you!
You are right , she is too little to be spoiled.
I could go on saying what I think you should do and try but no one knows better than you. I do think it is completely normal what she is doing. She is adjusting to the world. Trust your gut. Do what feels right.
I know everyone tells you this over and over and you are probably sick of it but it is the absolute truth. It does get better. Really. I guarantee it. And? One day you will say those words to someone else.
Hang in there!
I wouldn't call it spoiled either, but I do think they know what to expect. How old is she now?
Little babies can't be spoiled. Some eat until they're full, some eat just until the edge is off. That's just the way it goes. Like Zombie said--trust your gut and it does get better.
I made a deal with my husband when the kids were babies & I was nursing. The deal was I would get up with them every night, every time--until they were 2 years old. Then he would get up with them at night (if needed) for the rest of their lives. Boy was that a good deal!
Some babies need to be held more than others. Some babies need to hear your heart or feel your breath. They need what they need. Also, she is following the new baby handbook--eat & grow, repeat.
I agree that she is too young to be spoiled. Just think, a few weeks ago she never needed to know what hungry was or even to breath and she held allllll the time. I think whatever keeps mommy and daddy (but especially mommy) happiest is best.
I have no opinion yet but like zombie says Trust your guy, not Lex's *grin*
Echoing the 'she is too little to be spoiled' thing. She doesn't even know that you and she are two separate identities yet. I respectfully suggest that you don't let her cry it out yet, especially if she's one of those babies that eats all the time. She needs to know that you're close by and will respond to her as needed (though good job moving her to the crib. Philippe Will.Not.Go. Dominic hated cosleeping, but the fat monster loves it).
Good luck. You are in the most stressful period now, and like Zombs said, it will get better, and fast.
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